I will never forget the day you took my entire world and shattered it. The look of cold fire in your eyes told the tale long before your words ever set forth upon the winds of change that were moving in like a hurricane. Instantly, I could feel the daggers in my chest. Before you ever uttered the words of love and Kayla in the same sentence, I knew that I was about to lose my entire world. You'll never understand the pain that I went through in the few days and weeks that followed. There was a physical pain that permeated my chest, sending spikes of ice cold stabs outwards through my entire body. My legs would give out, and my breath would be hard to catch. Late at night, in the dark of the living room, I would unknowingly hold my breath, forgetting to allow the gainful exchange of oxygen and the continuance of life. Gasping, I'd suddenly realize and I'd try to claw my way back onto the surface. In the days that followed you going out of the window, you lead me on to believe that I had a chance in hell of you coming home. You couldn't just come out and say it, you couldn't tell me you moved in with her. You just keep managing me... I can only hope that I find love again one day, that the sun will rise and something amazing will grow out of the ashes of who I now am. This is my forest fire, and oh do I feel so alone. People tell me that the pain will fade in time, except for one friend who told me it stays there, always. You just get better at handling it. I pray that I will be successful, but it would just be so much easier to fail. It's been many weeks and I still cry. I miss you so damn much though I cant for the life of me figure out why. I never was good enough... You may have fallen out of love with me, but I loved you with ever fiber of my being all the way up until the bitter end. Even now, I contain it, but I love you on a level that comes from the purity of a heart that just cant hate. That will likely never change. I can't deny that you seem better. You seem happier. You aren't hiding away avoiding. You look like you care more about yourself than before. And as much as I wish it were me that was having that impact...I am thankful that someone is. You will always be a star in my sky. I'm sorry I put so much on you, though at one time I'd like to believe that I was your world just as much as you were mine. I am sorry I am who I am and that I'm not normal. I wish I had known in advance so as to warn you. I wish you nothing but the best in life. May you find all that you have been dreaming of, and all that I have lacked. Be happy, for you have found life again. ~ Riss