I never thought that a forever goodbye would be like this. It just was not something that I had ever envisioned. For some reason, the last time I saw you is like an image burned in my mind. It doesn't make me sad, just surprised...and mad. I realize now that you have done little more than take in all those years. I was so blind and stupid to allow things to go as they did, and I am so glad you are gone, but I just never thought that this would be it.

I guess I shouldnt be surprised. You never change, even if you can make people think that you have. You are no more grown up today than you will be twenty years from now. I hope that you find whatever it is that you are looking for, but in reality, you will probably fall on your face and I am ok with that. So much time, energy, and money was put into your upkeep. I laugh now to think of how you took advantage of Lindy, and now this girl in another country. Wow. That is all I can say.

Are you a fucking idiot? You think that this girl will want you when you get there? Look at your clothes? they are gross and falling apart. You can't seem to keep things washed or clean at all anyways. You think that you are a wonderful guy, but let me tell you what...there are very few redeeming qualities that you have. You are a fucking pathological liar who cares about nothing except yourself. I know that now.

All the promises that you made me in those first two years...they were nothing but a lie. I want to laugh now, thinking back to how you were going to finish college and go work in the IT sector as a programmer. A month of college later, you had quit and said it was too hard. What a JOKE! I don't know why I didnt see that as a red flag right there, but I am an idiot for keeping you around.

You could never hold a job. What makes you think you can hold one in another country. And don't get me started on the fact that you are MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY! What the FUCK are you thinking? Do your children mean nothing to you? How about all these friends that you were always going to be there for? And what about your grandparents? After all that they have done for you? You fucking ingrate.

It wasn't enough to hurt me. To tear apart a marriage, and blame it on everything but the truth. That was why you couldn't come up with a reason that night. Because you knew that it was your fault and that you had fucked up. Oh, you tried to hide it. You lied and made me feel as if it was my fault and all I had to do was ask and you would come back home. You cheated on me, you cheated me, and you have left a wound that will not easily heal. Trust is hard to get, and you have none of mine.

You thought you were slick, and that I believed your lie about Arizona. Think again asshole. I wanted so badly to believe you, but in the end, I knew what was going on. Still, I got past the hurt you did to me...but I will never forgive you for what you put your children through. You have no right to call yourself a father. You are an idiot, who abandoned your entire family for a girl you met in a MUD. What a fucking loser. I cannot possibly tell you how much I loathe and HATE you. I have never felt this way about anyone Josh...but I hope you fucking die.

You just dont care, and no one can make you. All I can say is this...

I hope you leave, and that you never come back.
I hope you never call again, and that you write us off.
I hope you fall of the end of the earth.
I hope you one day realize just what you did...and now you have to live with it.


Goodbye Joshua. I cannot say that I will miss you when you're gone.